“It takes courage … to endure the sharp pain of self-discovery rather than
choose to take the dull pains of unconsciousness that would last the rest
of our lives”
– Marianne Williamson

Each of the 14 paintings in this exhibition relates to different milestones of a journey: the journey that Yau Bee Ling has taken thus far searching for answers to the age-old questions: “Who am I?” “What am I here for?” “What purpose am I serving?” “What will I leave behind?”

Through her signature form, style and vibrant colours in the paintings of ‘The Women’, Bee Ling continues her earlier confident narratives of lives observed and lived, while at the same time being somewhat bewildered by the encounters she had along the way. There is something familiar and comforting and almost endearing about the stories she tells in paintings of “The Women”: the familiar, now almost conventional theme of one individual (woman) living two or more different roles. Sub-themes abound: of individuality, of nurturing and responsibility, of shared lives and histories, of binding ties and being part of a family, of being part of a community. These are present and obvious in ‘The Women’.

Yau Bee Ling is not the first artist to address these issues; she will not be the last.

However, the simplicity of the visual stories in “The Women” is extremely deceptive. A child safe in the nurturing arms of one woman; another gurgling happily in the protective arms of another woman; yet others – cousins – bonding with their mothers and aunts. The gentleness of the nurturing stares you hard in the face.

Juxtapose this with the women on the other canvases – the independent, career women who epitomize modern roles and the possibilities of the future. They have roles within larger groups. They have firm presence and display demeanour of people very much in control within the communities. Conflicts of roles and expectations are obvious. Only very few of today’s women will not be able to identify with the issues captured in the paintings.

Yes, “The Women” portrays simplicity of (and common) theme. But only at first encounter.
The journey Bee Ling takes leading to the birth of ‘The Women’ is a complex one. It is a journey that begins a long time before ‘The Women’.

Transition and multiplicity
In the last 18 years, Yau Bee Ling has moved from one identity to another: from single woman to wife to mother. Each move, each curve in the winding road leading to where she is today is a journey of searching and looking for answers. Answers to the conflicts brought on by the transition from one phase of life to another: of being a woman, a wife and a mother. Answers to the conflicts brought on by the multiple responsibilities she carries. Despite the happy, confident smiles she gives the world ‘The Women’ struggles to understand who she is: a mother, a wife, an independent woman. Despite the serenity of motherhood and the meaningful ties within the family and the community ‘The Women’ lives a complicated tangles of ties and responsibilities within the family and the larger communities.

The trappings of the modern life of ‘The Women’ – handbags, fashionable clothes, high heel shoes – tell her she is an independent woman who is very much her own person. Marriage and children bring the roles and responsibilities of ‘wifehood’ and motherhood. Motherhood is a huge responsibility. And like many mothers, Bee Ling is very much aware that she is making decisions for another life. Where the single person is responsible for only herself; and marriage brings a shared, negotiated responsibility, motherhood is about making decisions or participating in decision-making process for another person not yet (at least in the childhood stage) able to participate in the process the outcome of which will shape him as a human being and possibly forever impact not just the life he will live but those of others he is to share or touch.. It is a responsibility laden with hopes and fears: hopes for successes and later being able to celebrate those successes; and fears of the traps and failures that may lead to meaningless existence.

Realising and understanding the eventuality and enormity of the decision-making process is a defining moment. Not just for ‘The Women’ but for every parent.

In leadership studies, a defining moment may well happen at the fork in the road a person journeys on. Choices made based on that defining moment leave lasting impact and shape her. Depending on which side of the fork in the road a person chooses to take to continue her journey, whether it is a conscious decision to take the obvious path or risk the one less travelled (as so eloquently expressed by Robert Frost in his famous poem “The Road Less Travelled”), it is a supremely important moment.

For Yau Bee Ling, whether she knows it or not, it is the moment that defines the person she is and will be. Introverted and thoughtful, her onwards journey takes her to her inner self. It leads her to ask the all important question: what is my inner self? “Who am I?” “What am I here for?” “What purpose am I serving?” “What will I leave behind?”

Selfhood
Asking these questions is part of the process of possessing self – consciousness and of gaining self awareness. For Bee Ling, it is a natural progression in a journey of searching for identity; a naturally evolving process that examine the various phases of a life. It examines her state of womanhood, sisterhood and motherhood; and finally, of ‘selfhood’.

The Swiss psychologist Carl Jung defines ‘Self’ as the coherent whole unifying both the consciousness and unconscious mind of a person. For Bee Ling it is putting together the ‘self’ that she is already aware of, and processing questions and reflecting on the responses that provide clues and insights about the ‘self’ she is not yet fully aware of. She knows that she has the opportunity, through this thinking and reflection process, to realise her ‘selfhood’.

‘Selfhood’ has been defined as the quality that constitutes core individuality, the state of having an individual identity.

At this point in time, for Bee Ling awareness of ‘selfhood’ is still about the inner self – the ‘whats’ and ‘whys’ of the different women that make up ‘The Women’. Unlike some others in similar situation though, Bee Ling is calm about the conflicts of ‘The Woman’. For her, conflicts are necessities; the questions and reflections that follow is a natural progression towards achieving and retaining the individual identity: the ‘selfhood’.

Despite the gentleness of the ‘Great Mover’ and ‘Protection’ Yau Bee Ling is anxious about the possible outcomes of her journey to ‘selfhood’ as there are elements not completely within her control. Despite the assuring companionship of the ‘Sunshine Conversation’ and ‘The Sisters’ she continues to strive for answers. Confusing questions that sometime makes her falter and tempted to take a step back.
However, she knows that it is a journey that needs to happen and to continue. She knows that she needs to create space for things she is not yet aware of, to make provision for the unknown.

Sitting down with Bei Ling in her studio, surrounded by paintings in varying degree of completion, I was struck by the honesty and calmness with which Bee Ling shares and reflect on her personal journey and her effort to translate the experience on to canvases. ‘The Women’ is a collage of life, of emotions gently expressed swirling aplenty, of the different milestones in a journey.

Where this journey leads to, how it ends, are not thundering questions right now despite her puzzle and quiet anxiety. Here is someone who takes life in her strides, quietly but firmly asks the questions that guide her on, and moves with the flow. She may hesitate and pause, but the transitions in her life and the multiple roles she has to undertake, take her along to a point of eventual clarity about her identity. That eventual clarity is possibly not yet there within ‘The Women’ but Yau Bee Ling knows she will get there.

‘The Women’ challenges the viewer to go way beyond the captured and the stated, even beyond the implied. For me personally, it is a rest stop in my own on-going journey.

Mas Zetti Attan studied traditional Malay arts at university and spent 10 years of her working life in the Malaysian visual arts industry. She has been a regular contributor to the arts pages of the local papers. In recent years, her professional interests have seen her focused on self-awareness, self-realisation and the use of lessons of life in leadership development. She is now a corporate trainer by profession.